What it means to me to be engaged

Apparently more than one person thought that Joe and I would get engaged during our vacation in Jamaica. I know this because they told him and he in turn told me. He told me for multiple reasons, one of which is that it wasn’t his intention. Most on point though, this wasn’t the first time Joe received this same response upon explaining our position “that’s so unromantic!It sounds more like a business arrangement than a relationship!”

I’m not ready to be married. Sometimes I think it would be fun to have the wedding but my excitement is still so set on the event itself rather than life long commitment I’m making. I’ve written about marriage before, and ultimately I feel I’m too young to make such a life altering decision. I’ve at least got to get one masters degree under my belt before taking such a plunge. And Joe knows this.

He knows this because we communicate very openly in our relationship. We talk about marriage and the fact that we are not ready for it yet. We both have ideas of what marriage means, what a big commitment it is, and how open our communication needs to be in order for that to ever work out. I’m not saying I don’t see myself being with Joe longterm, I’m saying I can’t see far enough into the future to be sure.

Which, fine, may try to circumvent the leap of faith that a marriage is. But doesn’t neither of us being ready count for something? Screw ’em if they think talking about getting engaged is “unromantic” – to me, it’s the most romantic way to be. Being engaged is just the first step in a commitment I’m not ready to make.