Thoughts in daylight

In an effort to curb my depression, Joe and I have a rule that there is to be no TV watching unless it is dark out. The one exception is if we are at a rooftop bar and baseball is on.

So, when I got home today, I was like “ahh.. I just want to sit down and watch some terrible Gossip Girl. Oh crap. It’s still light out.” Then I began rationalizing that maybe it is just a rule we enact once we are in our new condo. Which is my way of telling the world our offer was accepted and we are buying a condo!

Anyway, it is already 6:30 and it is still light out which seriously makes me a happy camper. I doubled my medication in November when things were starting to get bad… just waking up in the morning was a trial. And it really helped. Except now I’ve gone back to normal because it is getting light out and I’m just so excited for summer.

Anyway, I’m going a little crazy about condo planning stuff, and, if you are like me and totes love pinterest, I invite you to check out my “dream home” board because its got all my most favorite things. Include sinks that don’t aerate  because in reality, who wants that?


Moving on up?

Joe and I found our place. And by “found” I mean, feel totally in love with and now can’t wait for it to come on the market so that we can swoop it up. First, we went to a similar unit on a higher floor. It was alright. I liked it just fine, but there was so much green. The light was great, I count picture us living there.

Then we went down a floor to a smaller place. No sunlight, less storage, overall, not as awesome. So, the final stop was a unit just a couple floors below the first. I absolutely fell in love with it. It has all the awesome upgrades that the first lacked, it was painted a better color than green, and overall just fit.

I really don’t know what is next though. Because it still isn’t technically on the market, I’m not sure what the process is. Also, this is the first time either of us have gone through the home buying process so it is all very new and a tad intimidating.

Totes excited to see where it leads though…

I sent Joe a text. It is regarding the fact that the unit we looked at was a two bedroom rather than the one bedroom we had been considering. Then he wrote back. This is why I’m excited to buy a condo with him.



I am turning into everything I never wanted to be all over again.

And sometimes I make huge sweeping statements that are really an over reaction. I can’t decide which piece is an over reaction here though. I feel stuck in the middle. A while back I probably read a statistic about the number of hours spent in front of a TV being inversely related to level of intelligence or likelihood of success. This caused me to stop any and all association with TV. I sold my TV, rid myself of internet, and basically lived like they did in the twenties because I felt this would increase my chances of being intelligent and successful.

Then I decided to move in with Joe. Prior to the actual move-in date, I said things like “limit me!” “I have a problem, don’t let me fall into that hole again,” in an effort to protect myself from whatever weaknesses I possess. Yet, Joe failed (miserably, I might add) because now he is in grad school and I spend most of his class time with either a drink in hand or on the couch streaming Netflix. Usually both.

Does wasting time in front of the boob-tube (hey, I gotta get the site visits where I can find them…) make me less of a human being? Probably not. Does it make me less suicidal by keeping me entertained through the boring times? Probably. Will it affect the likelihood of me being successful in life? This is where the jury is still out. I’m leaning towards not, because, as luck would have it, I have no material without TV. [As evident by the third paragraph in the post Moving In!] More importantly, I bet people like Mary Midgley, Marissa Mayer, Mary Meeker, and McKayla Maroney watch tv, and they are pretty cool. [And now I need to change my name to start with the letter M.]

On an unrelated note, I had my first Girls in Tech meeting today. I’m the newest PR/Social Media chair. I’m pretty excited about it. Everyone seems pretty cool, and I really liked the director when I met her, so if the rest are cool like her, I think we will get along well. I hope that my sarcasm will play; if not, it will make for many awkward moments… at least 10.

Mother’s Day

So yesterday was mother’s day. Joe and I were on the light rail going back to his place to meet his family for brunch. Staring outside at all the passing vehicles filled with families, I thought about my own life. It would be nice to see my mom on mother’s day, but, also a big stressor. I set up a hypothetical situation for Joe: in the future, were I to come across a mother’s day where I was in a serious relationship with a guy who also had a mother, it would be nice to bring the families together for a Sunday brunch at my place. I really like to cook and entertain, so all around I see it being a nice day. The reason this would be so nice though, is because it isn’t something I could do right now. Were I to host something similar now, the day would be filled with anxiety and shame, not something I see as being worth the trouble.

I like talking about things like this with Joe because he has the ability to see things… differently. He suggested that, were I in a relationship like that, the guy’s mother/family would just need to be privy to the relationship between my mother and I. I would need to set it up that she may say embarrassing things or make inappropriate comments, but if I level set everyone before hand, I won’t need to be as anxious for how people will react. Sounds like a very reasonable solution to me.

Days like this are always hard for me. I hate all the emails I get from every company telling me how to celebrate mother’s day. Who the hell do they think they are assuming I have a mother that I would like to celebrate? To be fair, I did get her a card. It was one of those really hideous cards with the hobo wearing tight daisy dukes. On the inside it read “It could be worse, at least I’m not that guy” or something like that. It was funny because my mom has this unique ability to make me feel both like a failure and that I’m making her proud at the same time. Kind of a… “well, I still love you anyway” type attitude.

It was actually very hard picking out the card- I didn’t want anything mushy at all but I also wanted it to be someone realistic. I’m pretty happy on what I settled on, and surprisingly, so was she. I got a text message from her yesterday afternoon that read “OMG. Best card EVER!!!!!! Yeah! Thank u SO MUCH!<3!!!!!!!”

After all the mother’s day stuff, Joe and I stopped by his apartment to grab a load of his things. We made a lot more progress than either of us were expecting, which was really nice. We were probably able to bring 80% of all his clothes plus his TV stuff and a dresser. There shouldn’t be too much more to bring up, maybe even just one more load.

We are getting settled in very nicely. I love the apartment so much, it is so big and the air conditioning works a lot better than in my old one, and it just feels like our place. I’m so happy we waited until we found a place we could move into together rather than just having one move in with the other. It sure makes it more special.

Moving in

So, Joe and I found an apartment. It is in the same building I was already living in, which is nice because 1) they just let me transfer my lease to my upgraded room and 2) it will be hella easier to move me as I don’t need to touch anything in my storage room and I only need to bring things down a floor.

We are moving in today.

Well, more specifically, we are moving my stuff in today because I need to be out of my old apartment by tomorrow and he doesn’t need to be out of his until the end of June. So, we are going to move all of my stuff first and then get his when we are under less of a time pressure.

This is so nice for so many reasons, but mainly I’m happy because I won’t be increasing my commute at all (currently 7 minutes) and Joe won’t have to concern himself with the stresses of moving while just starting out in his grad school program (beginning of June).

If you’ll remember from my Condo v. Rent post, one “pro” I listed for buying a condo was being able to paint. Well, turns out, they will paint things in my building too! We get to have an “accent wall.” A few weeks ago, Joe and I went paint shopping and got a really pretty blue. I’m so excited to spice up my our apartment!

Lastly, I’m so excited to move in with Joe because he is the most awesome person ever and wakes me up every morning with a back rub just because he knows I don’t like the sound of alarm clocks. I’m serious.

Moving in!

So since I first brought up the topic of moving in together, Joe and I have flirted around with the idea quite a bit. The next day after I wrote that post actually, he brought it up and basically said “I’ve thought of it too and I may even be fond of the idea, but we should hold off before talking about it for just a bit.”

[As a side note, I just ate yogurt covered pretzels that I bought (and first opened) in July and now I have a tummy ache…]

So, over the next few weeks, books were checked out from the library (Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller) and hypothetical situations were discussed. [Ex: If you were to hypothetically move in with a girlfriend that was somewhat similar to me, how would you want to split things financially?] This held up just fine until I turned Joe onto How I Met Your Mother.  While it had already been made clear to me that I am completely unoriginal and mimic television shows almost dependently, I hadn’t yet shared this with Joe. However, somewhere between Lily laughing after someone said “do do” and Ted setting up his hypothetical life, Joe realized that, I am in fact, a plagiarist.

On what I recall being New Year’s Eve, I told Joe that I thought we might not be ready to move in with each other in July (when both of our leases are up), and that was kind of the end of the discussion for the time being.

Just a few days later, after I had thought about it for awhile, I concluded that I was just being silly and hormonal and didn’t really know why I had felt that way. When I said it, I was in a weird funk where I was considering breaking up with him just because I hadn’t been anywhere exciting lately or I thought we were some how becoming stagnant. We talked about this a little bit after New Year’s and then I talked about it again with my therapist. I think I was just having like, 6 month itch or blues or PMS maybe- because this feeling only lasted maybe 24 hours. Because I have a history of hastily breaking up with people for no reason, just to regret it later, I was able to see this occurrence for what it was: silliness. So the next time Joe and I were out to dinner and had the moment to talk, I told him that I did in fact want to move in with him.

Joe told me that he felt the same way, but after I had ruled it out less than a week before, he dropped it from his realm of possibilities. After talking at great length though about finances, chores and other fun/awesome householdy stuff, we have started looking at places.

Saturday we went to see the Eitel Building. It was too small and too expensive for both of us, but at least we had a fun time looking at what might be “our place.” Tomorrow we are going to see another place which I’m really excited for because it is bigger and cheaper. The walk-in closets are my most favorite part. It’s very exciting to be looking and talking about it seriously now- I’m super excited :)

An okay day in corporate land

So I don’t know what it is about Monday’s, but they kind of suck. Is this what people are talking about when they say they have a case of the Mondays? I thought this was just me…

The day started out mostly lame. I woke up in the middle of the night having to puke. As I was hugging the toilet I kept thinking about how no matter what, I couldn’t call in sick today. I had a pretty medium sized presentation to give, and it would have seemed like I was just trying to make an excuse had I not shown up. That, and there was an after work happy hour for my birthday that I did not want to miss.

[Random note: I had a text message when I got up to puke from Cop in NYC. Wishing me a happy birthday. Nice thought… but he didn’t even remember my birthday when we were “together” so obviously I question his motives]

I hit snooze way too many times and by hit snooze I mean turned off my alarm and woke up about 15 minutes before I had planned on getting to work. I didn’t actually do the work last night that I was supposed to, which basically means I carried my laptop home for nothing, and that thing is heavy! When I got into work (without showering… because… that’s how I roll on Monday’s) I had to facebook and catch up on current events and look at the new condo listings in town. Obviously this came before any of the actual work that I put off all weekend. Around 9:30 I finally started getting some stuff together, and ended up being pretty proud of my script. I went to the room where I was to give my presentation about 2 hours early, and practiced it out loud a few times. I felt pretty happy with where I was at, and I was nothing like the nervous wreck I was last week.

Soon enough, I was done with my presentation and it was time to go see Joe. This weekend when I was looking all sexy for our Saturday dinner I had him carry my ID, but then forgot to get it back. Again, because of the after-work happy hour, it was essential for me to have it. I bused the 45 minute round trip to the U of M, grabbed my card, gave Joe a kiss, stole a couple bites of his chipotle burrito and was on my way. It was actually a rather pleasant way to spend my lunch hour- I got to walk outside a little bit and enjoy the weather and didn’t have to spend the time smelling other people around my cube eat.

In the afternoon, I mustered up a bit of courage and managed to get a bit of work done. I actually found myself in a little bit of a work trance and worked right up until 4pm when I was to leave for the happy hour.

The happy hour was fun, but I had no idea how to do it! I was the first one to get there, and I wasn’t sure if there was a reservation or how these things really worked. I just worked up the balls to ask for a table for ~10, and sat and ordered a drink. Within 5 minutes other people started arriving, so it wasn’t actually that bad. We all sat around for about 2 hours (some people came and left as the evening went on). Being the birthday girl though, I made sure to stay through the whole thing. It was a really good way for me to feel more apart of the team, and I really liked it. I’m sad I’ll be leaving the team so shortly (I move in December), but I will enjoy the rest of it while it lasts.

Beyond work, I’ve definitely found the condo building I want to live in (I think… I have said this a few times already). Anyway, the cheapest one in there is like, 350k. That’s a bit outside of my price range right now, but I also get stuck in my dreams of the future so badly sometimes that I want to make the future the present. I know that it makes sense for me to hang out in my apt for another year and a half or so, save up a tad, and then buy a place. But, at the same time, now is a buyer’s market and it does feel like I am just throwing money away by paying rent.

I also secretively start to think about the possibility of living with Joe sometime in the distant slash not-so-distant future. [By secretively I obviously mean that I understand he reads my blog… but, I wish I could write a code to stop this post from going to his google reader or something. At the end of the day though, I’m pretty transparent even when I think I’m being all sneaky and not obvious.] Last night he called just as I was looking up the bus directions to both of our places of employment and realized it was on a very easy bus line for him (and me). I sounded all weird, like I was hiding something, but I just feel silly saying “dear, we have only been dating for a few months, but I’m absolutely crazy about you and want to spend every day with you, we should consider living… ‘nearer’ to each other” (i.e. in the same place).

So after we got off the phone, the first thing I did was Google “how long until moving in with each other.” This is not to be confused with the occasion a few months ago when I Google’d “how long until saying ‘I love you’.” I basically always feel like I’m the first person in history to feel the way that I do, but in reality there is a plethora of people asking the exact same questions getting completely conflicting answers. The truth is, there is no formula for figuring out when it’s appropriate, which makes it all the more confusing. I was a math major and I prefer having absolutes to all of this abstract crap.