51 questions

Santa left Joe and I two books. The first was about mini golden doodles, which is perfect because if Joe and I get a dog, that is the kind we want to get. The second book was titled “51 Things to Know Before Getting Engaged.” It isn’t a book about getting engaged. Well, it is, but just because Santa left us a book about getting engaged doesn’t mean we are going to.

The structure of the book is 51 chapters, which each contain a question, to discuss with your significant other. It has some of those big questions that people sometimes ignore or think don’t apply to them. Clearly none of them apply to Joe and I either, because we aren’t getting engaged, but we just think of it as a thought exercise.

So, in order to painfully force ourselves through the book, for no other reason than because Santa left it for us, we read a chapter each Sunday night. The key here is that it really draws out the process so no one gets any silly ideas about actually getting engaged because really, unless we make it through every question, one shouldn’t even think of that.

Some of the questions are dull. The first was what’s one thing you find annoying about your partner? When Joe read it aloud a gave a little chuckle and began listing the things. I don’t remember them off the top of my head now, but I’m sure they were along the lines of A) him wearing tents B) not always being assertive enough and C) not being able to hold his liquor. Then he told me my things. If I remember correctly they were A) I’m just so perfect sometimes it hurts and B) I’m always right which gives him no opportunity to be so.

The question from this past weekend was different though. It resonated quite a bit with me, facing one of the issues I consider a barrier to me thinking of marriage. The chapter was about how people expect their relationship to be like those in the movies, magical and shit. My interpretation of the image Hollywood sets fourth is that marriage is dull and sexless. Couples get bogged down with life and begin ignoring each other or just not caring. They never seem truly in love and act as if they just put up with each other because of their legal commitment to each other. [Except for Lily and Marshall because they are awesome.]

Well, if that’s what marriage is, that’s not what I want. I want happiness and excitement and someone that treats me like a princess. I want a guy that doesn’t always forget the milk [laugh track!] or sit in front of the TV watching sports and playing video games. The sentiment of the chapter was that marriage isn’t like TV though. Just like it isn’t the fairytale some expect, it also doesn’t have to be a horror either.

So, I dunno, if someone held a gun to my head and was like “you have to get married!” I wouldn’t absolutely choose the bullet.

My super awesome weekend

So over a month ago, Joe and I made reservations to go camping this past weekend. Our plan was to bike there and practice biking/camping for when we do the MS150 in a few weeks. Well, thanks to the lovely Minnesota weather (and Joe’s weak knees), we decided to drive. We just barely got our tent up Friday night when the rain started, and spent the rest of the evening watching HIMYM on his cell phone in the tent.

Saturday morning, the weather was still crap and a half. So, we decided to cheat a little and went back to his place until it stopped raining. We watched some more HIMYM and I took a nap from the crappy night of sleep I got the night before. After looking at the weather forecast, we decided to give up on staying there again Saturday night, which ended up being the best idea we’ve ever had because at around 2am that night the sirens were going off. Phew!

We turned Saturday into a totally awesome day though. After some fun shopping at Crate and Barrel (we are getting excited for our big move this weekend!!) we went to see the Avengers. Awesome fricken movie. The not awesome part? That half the audience was kids under 7. Four seats down from Joe was a little boy who hummed through the whole thing. Directly behind us?- a kid that wouldn’t stop playing with his damn transformers car that his parents let him bring for some unknown reason. Since when did it become okay to bring your kid with toys to a movie to forgo the babysitter costs?

On Sunday I volunteer the two of us (aka, voluntold Joe), for the Living Green Expo. We manned a booth for Second Harvest Heartland (a great organization that collects food from grocers and other sources where it would normally go unused and then distributes it to food shelves across Minnesota). I had a good time because I was wearing my Macalester sweatshirt and people stopped to talk to me about that. I also snuck away for a few minutes to get a massage from the free massage booth across from us. Joe thought this was wrong, I thought it was using my volunteer time wisely.

Moving in!

So since I first brought up the topic of moving in together, Joe and I have flirted around with the idea quite a bit. The next day after I wrote that post actually, he brought it up and basically said “I’ve thought of it too and I may even be fond of the idea, but we should hold off before talking about it for just a bit.”

[As a side note, I just ate yogurt covered pretzels that I bought (and first opened) in July and now I have a tummy ache…]

So, over the next few weeks, books were checked out from the library (Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller) and hypothetical situations were discussed. [Ex: If you were to hypothetically move in with a girlfriend that was somewhat similar to me, how would you want to split things financially?] This held up just fine until I turned Joe onto How I Met Your Mother.  While it had already been made clear to me that I am completely unoriginal and mimic television shows almost dependently, I hadn’t yet shared this with Joe. However, somewhere between Lily laughing after someone said “do do” and Ted setting up his hypothetical life, Joe realized that, I am in fact, a plagiarist.

On what I recall being New Year’s Eve, I told Joe that I thought we might not be ready to move in with each other in July (when both of our leases are up), and that was kind of the end of the discussion for the time being.

Just a few days later, after I had thought about it for awhile, I concluded that I was just being silly and hormonal and didn’t really know why I had felt that way. When I said it, I was in a weird funk where I was considering breaking up with him just because I hadn’t been anywhere exciting lately or I thought we were some how becoming stagnant. We talked about this a little bit after New Year’s and then I talked about it again with my therapist. I think I was just having like, 6 month itch or blues or PMS maybe- because this feeling only lasted maybe 24 hours. Because I have a history of hastily breaking up with people for no reason, just to regret it later, I was able to see this occurrence for what it was: silliness. So the next time Joe and I were out to dinner and had the moment to talk, I told him that I did in fact want to move in with him.

Joe told me that he felt the same way, but after I had ruled it out less than a week before, he dropped it from his realm of possibilities. After talking at great length though about finances, chores and other fun/awesome householdy stuff, we have started looking at places.

Saturday we went to see the Eitel Building. It was too small and too expensive for both of us, but at least we had a fun time looking at what might be “our place.” Tomorrow we are going to see another place which I’m really excited for because it is bigger and cheaper. The walk-in closets are my most favorite part. It’s very exciting to be looking and talking about it seriously now- I’m super excited :)

Sad afternoon

So sometimes I waste too much time watching TV and then I turn into a sad monkey. This past week I’ve both gotten Joe hooked on How I Met Your Mother and watched the first season with him. When I was insta-tears at the end of the last episode, I obviously had to storm off and pout for a while. Shows like this have a joint affect on me- I both am sad for the characters because I too have felt that pain, but I’m also so sad that I’m allowing a silly show to get a rise out of me. I know it is just a show and I shouldn’t be so vested in it, so I get mad at myself, but, am still mad at what happened in the show.

Joe came in to try to calm me down. He recognized that I was just in a funk though, so he suggested we go out for a drive. Just getting out of the house can work wonders on my mood. We were both in our pajamas still but just decided to walk out as is. I had two pairs of shoes at his place- coach tennis shoes or my high heels- because I didn’t want to put on socks, I decided that the heels would be most appropriate. We looked hideous.

Driving around was nice. We went looking at big houses and listened to NPR. It is really a beautiful day, so now I’m feeling a bit better and may just be a tad more productive with my life. Or something like that.