Future Kate

Future Kate and I have a love/hate relationship. Sometimes I’m really good to her, such as when I took all of my required courses early in my college career leaving time to do what ever I wanted senior year (which, in hindsight may have led me to choose a major I otherwise wouldn’t have… but oh well). Other times, I screw her over good. Forget my keys in the condo? Oh, well, that is a Future-Kate problem and not anything to deal with now. And then I get home late and crabby and the last thing I want to do is get the spare key from the desk guy… Car running on empty? Future-Kate problem. And then the next time I’m running super late and have absolutely no time to stop at the gas station but have no other option.

It is because of this dynamic, though, that I’m constantly playing through different scenarios in my head. A few weeks ago, I was walking outside on the ice when I saw some frozen dog urine. Instinctually, I questioned whether urine, after a long night of drinking, freezes at a different temperature than normal urine. When I got home I posed this question to Joe. We quickly agreed that it would be a perfect science fair experiment for our future children, Liam and Olivia (just kidding, who pre-names children they aren’t even pregnant with, with someone they aren’t even married to? #Awkward).

We wouldn’t have the kid(s) drink, you see. We’d probably swap nights where first I am the sober one and Joe drinks, and then both of our pee is tested, and then the next day we swap. That way, in case anyone gets hurt there is a sober person to drive the other to the hospital. Just in case.

Hypothetically speaking, is it wrong to have kids play test with urine, if it is in the name of science? Would we get our kid boo’d out of school for being a freak? Would Joe and I then be the outcasts at the PTA meetings? Ha, me attending PTA meetings…

In other words, is my interest in the alcoholic concentration of urine going to negatively impact Future Kate?

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