I was accepted to each of the four business school programs I interviewed with: MIT, Yale, Georgetown, and Carnegie Mellon. This makes sense, I’m really good at interviewing. Taking into account my wait-list notice from NYU, two decisions remain unknown: Berkeley and UCLA.
When I got the call on Friday from MIT, I nearly shit myself. Because I’ve over indulged on the various GMAT forums though, I was under the impression calls would be coming late in the day. Which is why at 10am I had my phone stupidly upside down in the training session I was in. When I flipped it over I had missed the call by 1 minute. Seriously, just one minute. The nice, lovely woman left a voicemail stating she had “good news” and requested I call her back. I frantically IM’d Joe: “Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. In.” is all I wrote. She wouldn’t call with good news if it was anything other than an acceptance, no way.
I called back right away but got nothing. After the longest hour and a half of my life, she finally called back. Sloan wants me, they really want me.
Now it’s time to think really hard about what I really want and how I’m going to pay for it all. The latter has been on the back-burner to say the least… For the time being though, at least through the holidays, I’m just going to sit back, relax, and be proud :)
When I was looking through old emails for my Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen fan site, I stumbled upon something I wrote in 2003. I was emo at the time to say the least, and suicidal if we prefer a more blunt approach. Here is the un-edited version of my thoughts on a lonely night in January, eleven years ago. It is complete with spelling errors for your amusement (WARNING: you will need the laugh).
I’m so scared right now. i am shaking. I am grasping for air. i dont want to die. but sometimes i think i do, and i am scared that if i think i do, i might try, when deep down i really dont want to. what happens when i do try, and then i change my mind? what happens when my mind desides to change, when it is already to late? is 10:58 right now, but what if i dont live till tomarrow? what if my mind desides to over come what i really feel deep down? what if i go down to the kitchen and get the knife? my life could end in an instant.. but yet i know i dont want it too. i think, how could i be so selfish, to want to take my own life? when all day i try to stop other people from making the same mistake. Then i start to think about what happens after. Who crys? who forgets me? Who moves on? Who doesnt? Whats wrong with being different? we go through life with people teaching us we can be who ever we want, when really we have to be who everyone else wants us to be.
Besides the obvious desire to give my middle-school self some screen time, I’ve posted this for a reason. I’ve posted it because it is important to know and understand where we all come from. Earlier this week I was accepted to Yale with nearly a full scholarship. I wonder what that girl, the one who was so, so sad, would say about who I am today.
I find this thought comforting for a few reasons. First, it reminds me that nothing is forever; everything changes. It means I can’t get too held up in the moment because soon it will be over and I’ll have moved on. Second, it’s okay that sometimes I’m a sad-cat, and even that I used to be an extremely sad-cat. I’m still super strong and can accomplish a lot. Or so Yale thinks ;) Lastly, it means it gets better. Highs and lows evolve. This week I’m stressed out about all the other decisions coming in… but this time next year I’ll be somewhere else… and that somewhere is still a mystery. My “low” today is a hellofa lot better than it was then, for which I am thankful :)
So last week I heard back from Stanford and it was a rejection notice. I’m obviously disappointed, but also acknowledge that this whole b-school this will work out as it shall. I gave a lot of consideration to the schools I was applying to and would be happy at any one of them. One rejection does not mean defeat.
The next 20 days are going to be trying though. I’m going to keep myself busy as much as possible so that I don’t sit and think endlessly about all the decisions that will be rolling in. By December 20th, I’ll hear back from 5 more schools. Leaving only 2 still up in the air. Pins and needles folks, pins and needles.