incognito

I have no excuse for why I haven’t written in so long. Unless you count my overpowering desire to come home and sit my ass in front of the TV every night after work. I know I’m the only person that does this, and that makes me feel even more terrible. How do I know I’m the only one, you ask? Because of the hundreds of condos I can see into right now, only two have their TVs playing, that’s how.

But then I just feel like crap for wasting my life away on TV. And then I feel bad and don’t have the drive to do anything else but watch more TV. Joe coerced me to go on a bike ride yesterday, and it was actually a decent amount of fun. I’ve been having a lot of fun lately – I love the new place, I’ve been going to Lynx games and Twins games and been doing fun Girls in Tech stuff. So, why do I feel like an utter failure? Good question.

When I’m not making forward progress, I feel like I am going backwards. I know it isn’t money that is going to make me happy either. I’ve already got my dream condo in downtown Minneapolis – will having the penthouse make me any happier than I am today? Well, I gosh darn hope something does because all I feel like doing is moping. Not mopping – I haven’t cleaned much lately. But moping, yes, like, woe is me.

Don’t get me wrong, I see the irony in this post. See it, and hate it, and need nothing other than to be writing it out and telling the world. Because somehow that makes me feel accountable or something. Like, damn girl, check yo’ self. And still, something is missing and I cannot put my finger on it.

P.S. I was just adding “creeping” to my tags because, let’s face it, me sitting on my balcony and watching others’ watch TV is creepy. But… it had never been used before. How I earth have I not tagged that before?

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One thought on “incognito

  1. I know what you need but you won’t agree with me you need to spend some time with your mother and then you will truly appreciate what you have in life I miss you I love you I wish you would feel better let me know if there’s anything I can do and I really do want to come see you, I just have to get my blegs on a bus. I’m totally over you I just don’t want you to feel bad when I’m dead. I’m just messing with you baby I think I should have gotten a galaxy two because those are only 160 dollars. I sure do like my little ‘paddy’ obviously. It has a microphone for me to talk into. Yeah! I was so scared of paddy, I let it sit in the box for two weeks if I would’ve taken it out sooner I would’ve realized it was way more than I needed
    And I would’ve still been able to return it. Oh well, Curt got another raise so I’ll live financially but I haven’t lived alone for so many years it’s kind of creeping me out……. OMG! I have turned into a little fraidy-cat like you were ha ha.

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