Santa left Joe and I two books. The first was about mini golden doodles, which is perfect because if Joe and I get a dog, that is the kind we want to get. The second book was titled “51 Things to Know Before Getting Engaged.” It isn’t a book about getting engaged. Well, it is, but just because Santa left us a book about getting engaged doesn’t mean we are going to.
The structure of the book is 51 chapters, which each contain a question, to discuss with your significant other. It has some of those big questions that people sometimes ignore or think don’t apply to them. Clearly none of them apply to Joe and I either, because we aren’t getting engaged, but we just think of it as a thought exercise.
So, in order to painfully force ourselves through the book, for no other reason than because Santa left it for us, we read a chapter each Sunday night. The key here is that it really draws out the process so no one gets any silly ideas about actually getting engaged because really, unless we make it through every question, one shouldn’t even think of that.
Some of the questions are dull. The first was what’s one thing you find annoying about your partner? When Joe read it aloud a gave a little chuckle and began listing the things. I don’t remember them off the top of my head now, but I’m sure they were along the lines of A) him wearing tents B) not always being assertive enough and C) not being able to hold his liquor. Then he told me my things. If I remember correctly they were A) I’m just so perfect sometimes it hurts and B) I’m always right which gives him no opportunity to be so.
The question from this past weekend was different though. It resonated quite a bit with me, facing one of the issues I consider a barrier to me thinking of marriage. The chapter was about how people expect their relationship to be like those in the movies, magical and shit. My interpretation of the image Hollywood sets fourth is that marriage is dull and sexless. Couples get bogged down with life and begin ignoring each other or just not caring. They never seem truly in love and act as if they just put up with each other because of their legal commitment to each other. [Except for Lily and Marshall because they are awesome.]
Well, if that’s what marriage is, that’s not what I want. I want happiness and excitement and someone that treats me like a princess. I want a guy that doesn’t always forget the milk [laugh track!] or sit in front of the TV watching sports and playing video games. The sentiment of the chapter was that marriage isn’t like TV though. Just like it isn’t the fairytale some expect, it also doesn’t have to be a horror either.
So, I dunno, if someone held a gun to my head and was like “you have to get married!” I wouldn’t absolutely choose the bullet.