Sue Sylvester and I share a mother

So, I can’t find a decent clip of the video I want to show you, so if you are a fan of Glee and can remember back to the 13 minute 16 second mark of the 8th episode of season 2 (titled: Furt), continue reading. If not, maybe continue reading anyway.

I called my mom this evening because she sent me a text yesterday and was all like “I’m lonely, call me.” So I did, because I am nice like that. Somewhere between her telling me how bad she is at texting and me trying to convince her to move into a group home, she declared she would sing at my wedding. A wedding created in her own mind that is no way scheduled, planned, or in the near future, just so we are clear on that.

Anyway, this is more or less exactly what she said: “I was lying in bed the other day thinking of how I would style my hair for your wedding, and I realized I would not be able to wear my normal wedding-slash-funeral dress. I’ll have to actually go out and buy a nice one that is too expensive. I also know that I can’t drink or sneak out to smoke, and because I watch my weight, all I’ll be able to do is sing to you. I have the song picked out” and then she sampled it for me as I withdrew the iPhone from my ear.

The Glee episode that I am talking about is where Sue Sylvester is marrying herself, and her mom comes in and is all like “you poked my sternum.”  Then she says that if she cannot walk Sue down the aisle, she’ll have to just sing a song for her. The more I compare my mother to Carol Burnett the more my life makes sense.

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