So yesterday was mother’s day. Joe and I were on the light rail going back to his place to meet his family for brunch. Staring outside at all the passing vehicles filled with families, I thought about my own life. It would be nice to see my mom on mother’s day, but, also a big stressor. I set up a hypothetical situation for Joe: in the future, were I to come across a mother’s day where I was in a serious relationship with a guy who also had a mother, it would be nice to bring the families together for a Sunday brunch at my place. I really like to cook and entertain, so all around I see it being a nice day. The reason this would be so nice though, is because it isn’t something I could do right now. Were I to host something similar now, the day would be filled with anxiety and shame, not something I see as being worth the trouble.
I like talking about things like this with Joe because he has the ability to see things… differently. He suggested that, were I in a relationship like that, the guy’s mother/family would just need to be privy to the relationship between my mother and I. I would need to set it up that she may say embarrassing things or make inappropriate comments, but if I level set everyone before hand, I won’t need to be as anxious for how people will react. Sounds like a very reasonable solution to me.
Days like this are always hard for me. I hate all the emails I get from every company telling me how to celebrate mother’s day. Who the hell do they think they are assuming I have a mother that I would like to celebrate? To be fair, I did get her a card. It was one of those really hideous cards with the hobo wearing tight daisy dukes. On the inside it read “It could be worse, at least I’m not that guy” or something like that. It was funny because my mom has this unique ability to make me feel both like a failure and that I’m making her proud at the same time. Kind of a… “well, I still love you anyway” type attitude.
It was actually very hard picking out the card- I didn’t want anything mushy at all but I also wanted it to be someone realistic. I’m pretty happy on what I settled on, and surprisingly, so was she. I got a text message from her yesterday afternoon that read “OMG. Best card EVER!!!!!! Yeah! Thank u SO MUCH!<3!!!!!!!”
After all the mother’s day stuff, Joe and I stopped by his apartment to grab a load of his things. We made a lot more progress than either of us were expecting, which was really nice. We were probably able to bring 80% of all his clothes plus his TV stuff and a dresser. There shouldn’t be too much more to bring up, maybe even just one more load.
We are getting settled in very nicely. I love the apartment so much, it is so big and the air conditioning works a lot better than in my old one, and it just feels like our place. I’m so happy we waited until we found a place we could move into together rather than just having one move in with the other. It sure makes it more special.