Sometimes I’m a crazy

So, sometimes I react to things strongly, and my instinct is to say that I’m crazy. This reminded me of a recent article that I read, so I Googled “you are not crazy,” because that’s the moral of the story and I figured it would get me somewhere. Luckily, the second result was the story I was thinking about. The website above it, youarenotcrazy.com, is a website dedicated to preventing abuse of women.

It’s interesting that this is the way my mind went, and also fortunate. I sat down ready to blog about how, in this specific instance, I am really a crazy person. But, for women to perpetuate the notion that strong emotions and reacting to them is “crazy” is actually a pretty stupid idea. So, here is a story about how I reacted strongly to something, and, although I’m not quite sure why it happened, I’m glad that I took a few minutes to just think about my feelings rather than outwardly react. I’m thinking this is a healthy step.

I’m not very good at being the commuting partner. Granted, I could get better at it, but for now, I’m kind of lame. Saturday Joe and I had to stop by my apartment (I was staying at his place for the weekend) so that I could grab my retainer. Also on Saturday, I forgot to take both my Strattera and my Prozac, because I usually take it in the morning but I was out of my normal routine and just forgot. So, on the way to Joe driving us to the bus this morning, I realized that this time I forgot my pills (and again didn’t take them). I can’t make decisions really without them, but Joe and I decided that he would just run them up to me after work, otherwise he would miss his bus (his comes less frequently than the one I take).

Flash forward a few hours and I’m at home signing up for the latest SkyMiles offer in my inbox: the Dining Program (I’m all about the miles!). Turns out, the Zelo just down the street from me is on the approved list, and if I dine there within the next 30 days, spend $25 or more, and then review the restaurant within a week, I’ll get a bonus 1,000 miles! And THAT is totally awesome. So, I was like, omg, when Joe comes up we could grab Zelo (the calamari is really good!) and then he could like, spend the night or something because really, it’s silly for A) us to hang out and not spend the night together and B) him to drive an hour just because I’m forgetful. So then I called him, and this is how the convo went:

Kate: What’s your plan for tonight?
Joe: I’m gunna go shopping a bit more then come swing by your place. I should be there about 7pm
Kate: Did you forget that my pills at still at your house though so you’ll need to stop there first?
Joe: Yes, yes I did. I will be there around 8pm
Kate: Hmm… well… then you won’t get home till late and that seems silly and I feel bad for making you drive all the way here, and, if I’m completely honest with you, it feels kind of silly for us to hang out but not spend the night together.
Joe: It’s not a big deal at all! I can drive up there, hang out for a bit and give you your stuff. No problem at all
Kate: Hmm… okay… …. …. mmmmrrraahhhh
Joe: What’s wrong? Does that not work for you?
Kate: No, no, no, it’s fine… I just, ugh, well, wanted you to read my mind and all
Joe: [after a big of silence] ahhh…. you want me to spend the night?
Kate: Well… I was thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea…

But then we talked about it and he has stuff to do and I was all like, let me think about it for a few minutes and I’ll call you back. So, I called him back, told him I was being a crazy and overreacting and that he should just skip it and stay home. Then he tried to reassure me that really, it was no big deal for him to drive them to me and he would if I wanted him to. But I was getting frustrated because I had to be the one to make the decision and I told him he was being frustrating and he’s all like “I’m trying to be as amiable as possible!” so I’m all like, “That’s the problem!” Then he said he would make the decision if I wanted him to (which I did), so he said he would stay home because he had a lot of work to do. So then I was all like insta-tears and got off the phone… but… now when I’m an hour removed from the situation, I have to idea why I was all insta-tears and shit. It’s totally fine for him not to come up here and I’m enjoying my nice evening to myself listening to MPR and possibly maybe sometime in the near future doing some GMAT studying.

The moral of the story? Sometimes even totally sane/semi-emotional women/people/maybe just me react in ways that they don’t understand but this can be okay too as long as they can look back and be like, oh, that was silly. Or, alternatively, it’s also good to be able to look back and say “yes, that was a reasonable way to react!” and then have someone awesome be all like “Kate, you don’t have to ever apologize for being crazy because I’m just as likely to be the one with my head in a box and sometimes you just have to make it clear that I’m being the ass. It’s never ‘always you’…”

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