So because I’ve always had a thing for facial hair, I facebook’ed this video to Joe. I told him his stache could be a birthday present for me! The awesome fabulous guy that he is, he agreed to grow one out.
Flash to about 5 days later, and the next time I see my hunny, he had a full grown mustache and goatee. It was weird. He looked like some strange other person, but I went with it. Maybe it was kind of cute… it just didn’t feel like him.
Flash to about 5 hours later, and we are having getting intimate. I look up at him and all of a sudden I don’t even feel like I’m with him, with my boyfriend. I get this thought in my mind that I’m with some strange man who I don’t know, who is yet some composite of all these other men I have been with and who have hurt me (both mentally and physically). I became all locked up and didn’t know what to do. I wanted it to end, just be done with it, but I couldn’t speak up. Apparently as Joe transformed into Pedojoe, I was no longer able to communicate. It felt like I was in all those other uncomfortable situations where I didn’t feel safe and didn’t feel like I could make it stop.
Afterwards, I just rushed to the bathroom and cried for a minute. I then walked right back to bed, and without making eye contact, got under the covers. He tried to console me, it was obvious to him that something was up, but I pushed him away and told him I needed my space. What I really wanted was for “him” to leave. I wanted to feel safe and with my boyfriend and not have this strange man in my bed.
In the middle of the night, I woke up and kind of came to my senses. I shook Joe awake and told him I was sorry for being a crazy. I explained what had happened and he kind of understood, but also said he would have just preferred I had first, asked him to stop and second, communicated with him. I was able to kind of explain though that it wasn’t him. He shaved it off right away the next day, and we agreed not to play like that again.